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Husband/Wife Relationship

Notes Outline
SELF-SACRIFICE IS GOD'S WAY
SELF-SACRIFICE IN MARRIAGE IS CHRIST-LIKE
SELF-SACRIFICE MUST BE THE HUSBAND'S WAY
SELF-SACRIFICE THROUGH SUBMISSION
GOD GIVEN ROLES
THE HUSBAND IS CALLED TO LEAD THE WIFE

SELF-SACRIFICE IS GOD'S WAY

    1. Self-Sacrifice isn’t a Christian idea, it’s not a really nice way to live, it’s the way God is.

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. (Rom 8:5)

If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. (Matt 16:24)

    1. Self-sacrifice is the way God desires all men to live…No matter what area of life.  Because that’s the way we become most like Him. 
    2. God speaks about self-sacrifice in various ways and in various circumstances throughout the scriptures, but it seems that He gives special consideration to the Husband and Wife analogy.
    3. God refers to himself as a husband to Israel (Is 54:5). His faithfulness and lovingkindness to Israel are an example to us on how husbands should love their wives. Because our marriage then reflects God’s nature.
    4. Even through the years of rebellion, idolatry and infidelity, God says he will not forget his covenant. 

Therefore, behold, I will allure her, bring her into the wilderness and speak kindly to her, (Hos 2:14)

    1. God is long suffering, patient, forgiving, loving, not considering a wrong done to Him.

SELF-SACRIFICE IN MARRIAGE IS CHRIST-LIKE

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. “By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:34-35)

    1. Your best shot at having a wonderful marriage is to become more like Jesus.
      1. When husbands love their wives as Christ loves the church, and wives submit to their husbands in love, we have an opportunity for the Gospel to be shared. 
        1. We are filled to overflowing with God’s great love.
        2. We shower our spouse with that same love we receive from Christ.
        3. People take note of our extravagant love toward our spouse.
        4. We are given the opportunity to tell them about the love of Christ that compels us to love our spouse this way.

SELF-SACRIFICE MUST BE THE HUSBAND'S WAY

    1. As the Husband we carry the task of representing God to our wives our kids and those who observe us. 
    2. This is no small task! But by the power of the Spirit, we can do it well. 

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her “that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.” (Eph. 5:25-27)

    1. Our goal as a husband is to see our wives walk in the fullness of what God has called them to be in this age. 
    2. We must be willing to lay down our dreams and desires to see Christ formed in our wife. 
    3. Denying yourself is the way we can most practically demonstrate this.

SELF-SACRIFICE THROUGH SUBMISSION

    1. We’re given a command in Ephesians 5:22: “Wives, submit to your husbands as unto the Lord.” God does not command us to do things that are bad for us. 
    2. What is submission?                                                                                                                          i.
      1. Submission is “the action or fact of accepting or yielding to the will or authority of another.” Agreement, consent, compliance. 
      2. Submission in marriage is joy-filled, intelligent, and wise support of the leadership of your husband.
      3. Submission is honoring and affirming your husband’s leadership and helping to carry it through according to your giftings.
      4. Submission is beautiful when we realize we are imitating Christ. John 6:38
      5. Simply put, you love it when he leads 

GOD GIVEN ROLES

    1. We have beautiful, God ordained roles of sexuality. We have manhood and womanhood and we are innately designed to complement and strengthen one another. 

You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. (1 Pet 3:7)

    1. The husband is the head…

But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ…“However, in the Lord, neither is woman independent of man nor is man independent of woman. (1 Cor. 11:3, 11)

      1. The marriage needs to exemplify the ultimate humility, submission and trust that we see in the Godhead.
    1. We need to see the husband and wife roles as God given and not greater or lesser than the other. That breeds contention, strife, competition and bucking against God’s way. 
    2. Similarly, we have a picture of God ordained roles between Israel and the Gentile nations. God does not love one more than the other, but he does have roles that are specific to each one. 

THE HUSBAND IS CALLED TO LEAD THE WIFE

    1. “Leading” doesn’t mean that he makes all the decisions, unilaterally, without caring or considering his wife’s opinion.
    2. Leadership means that he takes initiative. Who says, “let’s” most?
    3. The Husband has the responsibility to lead. He will give an account for how he leads.
    4. How he leads his wife means a lot to God because it demonstrates to the wife what God is like. God does not appreciate His name being profaned. 
    5. The Wife can rest and have peace in following the husband’s lead when she trusts that He is following the Lord and has her best interest at heart. 
    6. We must in all humility and gentleness lean on the Holy Spirit and the Word to be an effective Christ like leader.